depression – Preventable: Protecting Our Largest Organ

Interview #14: Danae Kirtley

Danae Kirtley

Eureka, California

1.When did you start using topical steroids? And why?

I started using topical steroids by recommendation from my family practitioner in an effort to treat my childhood eczema, starting at about age 10.

2. What was the name of the topical steroid?

To begin with, my parents and I were advised to use over the counter Hydrocortisone cream (.5-1%) liberally, to any and all rashy areas of skin. Was also advised to apply like lotion after every bath or shower as a “prevention method” even if my skin was not affected by eczema.

3. Were you ever prescribed more potent steroids?

Yes. After a few years of using Hydrocortisone cream and my problem areas had spread and become more vigilant; I was given a trial tube measuring a few ounces of Elidel. After that didn’t work and burned my skin, I was prescribed Triamcinalone ointment, which I rarely used because I hated the texture, greasines, and how much it burned my skin.

4. How did you find out about RSS?

I found out about RSS after researching online desperately for the cause of my worsening symptoms. After using Hydrocortisone cream twice daily to my face, and 3-4 times a week on my entire body like lotion for 10 years- My body had seemingly given up. I couldn’t suffer anymore, and I needed answers. I found ITSAN and there began my diligent research.

5. What made you feel you had RSS?

What had made me feel like I had RSS was that once the information was before me- I just knew. I had never thought that anyone else had suffered the same symptoms and had suffered so uniquely as I had. I read the many testimonials, medical documents, blogs, vlogs and more from people all over the world with the same story I have.

6. Were you diagnosed by a doctor? Did you have a supportive doctor?

I was not diagnosed by a doctor, however- my General Practitioner was very supportive. She was just as baffled as I was at my chronic, increasingly debilitating symptoms. She agreed that the amount of exposure and absorption of steroids I had was alarming. We came up with a plan to taper down my usage and to meet more regularly so that she could monitor my symptoms and keep track of my progress. All the while, she had ordered many different blood tests to rule out any other autoimmune diseases, disorders, deficits in nutrition and more. Nothing of relevance to explain my symptoms came up with as many tests as we did.

7. What were your first symptoms?

My first symptoms of Eczema began as early as preschool years, between ages of 5-6 years old. My inner elbows and back of my knees were always dry, sensitive and itchy. After the first year of using Topical Steroids, my rashes had spread all over my arms, legs, and had begun manifesting on my face, neck and chest. My body would erupt into bright red, inflamed skin, that would burn like I had never experienced before and itch deep within my subdermis within one day of not using Topical Steroids. It had become a begrudging truth that my body NEEDED the application of Steroids daily, and for years, to maintain any semblance of normality. All the while, my health declining. What initially caused me to research the symptoms of long-term use of Steroids, was my rapid decrease in weight, my eyesight, worsening skin condition, and hairloss.

8. Is your family supportive? Friends?

For the most part- Yes. Once I had done about 3 months of personal research, and had already been to a multitude of appointments with my GP, and Ophthalmologist, I created a plan to introduce my and my doctor’s findings with closest family and friends. I asked for their support and provided opportunity to allow them to ask their own questions, express their concern and understanding. Several of them completely agreed that withdrawing from Topical Steroids would be in my best interest long-term. Many of them came to my aide in the best ways they could, be it care-packages of sterile gauze, feeding and helping me with personal care, or stopping by to spend time with me while I lay in bed for those many many months of disability.

9. Have you ever been to a hospital for this? Why?

I had been to the hospital for blood-tests, I had considered going to the ER multiple times when my symptoms were so severe that I was in and out of consciousness because of the extreme amount of pain I was in. Thankfully I was under the care of family and my Fiancee, who all did their best to comfort me and do everything they could to surround me with love and support. The possibility of being administered Steroids in addition to any much needed pain management medication had I gone to the ER- was too much of a gamble against my progress.

10. What has been the hardest part of this condition?

Besides the incomprehensible amount of pain that I endured(and endure still from time to time), is the decline of my mental health. Being suddenly thrust into Disability and not having a definite time-frame for healing and success is taxing to say the least. I was often alone, with my own thoughts, while being unable to move and bedridden. I became unable to look at my own reflection as the person I had always been and seen looking back at me was gone. I didn’t recognize myself, and being unable to function in a physical capacity only fed into a Dissociation type state even further. I was in a very deep Depression along with weeks of insomnia. To this day, my anxiety and difficulty relating to others in social activities still is of great difficulty for me. I continue to challenge myself in positive ways. However it feels as though I am forever changed, mentally, because of this illness.

11. How long have you been in withdrawal?

I started tapering my usage of Steroids under my General Practitioner’s guidance in the very beginning of November 2014. I started my full withdrawal after my birthday in December 2015. On the day that I am writing this, it has been 817 days since my last application or administration of Steroids. I am not yet ‘healed’, however, I have made a tremendous amount of progress. I went from being completely unable to perform the smallest tasks for myself, like sitting up in bed. Brushing my teeth, or walking at times… to now being able to walk, work part-time, I do daily house chores, and even present as a normal person from day to day. I have bad days, but they don’t knock me down nearly as bad as they used to.

12. What do you use as comfort measures during this?

I listen to lots of music, I play music myself, I have been catching up on all the shows, and movies I have missed throughout the years. I drink tea and have many contemplative moments, writing, and lots of snuggles. Sometimes I am inconsolable, but the truth in those moments are that they are always temporary- as my best friend and beloved fiancee has said since day one of TSW, “Maybe Tomorrow…” Which to us, means: Tomorrow may be a better day, it may provide better or different opportunities to be fulfilled, or more able. It is a phrase that instills Hope, even when things feel or seem very dark, it will always get better.

13. Are you employed? Has this affected your job status?

I have now been employed after a 2 year absence in the workforce, for 5 months! This means a lot to me as I have always worked hard and enjoyed being employed. Being affected by TSW still provides interesting challenges at work for me. Thankfully my Manager and coworkers are all very understanding and are more than willing to make exceptions or take on tasks in order to keep me comfortable. I am very thankful and humbled by my ability to work with such supportive people. Sometimes I have to sit, while I am on shift, as I get very dizzy and disoriented after standing for hours. Sometimes I have to take an additional break to relax, or coworkers have had to come in as a replacement for my missed shift because of a ‘Flare-up’ that inhibits my ability to perform my duties. I am pleased to share that my strength and physical duress has improved over the past 5 months and I only hope to continue getting better.

14. Have you gone to therapy/wish to go to therapy because of this condition?

Yes, I would very much like to go to Therapy because of TSW. I have all of the classic markers of PTSD from this condition, and because of the extreme amount of mental stress I endured. I have had a resurgence of mental symptoms and new ones (that I do not wish to share), that do get in the way of my daily activities because of TSW. The amount of trauma and pain that we all go through with this condition is absolutely extraordinary and severe.

15. If there is one thing you could say to another sufferer, what would it be?

IT GETS BETTER. It may feel like this pain will last forever, but it does not. I remember that hopeless feeling very very well- but we do get better and I am proof of that.

Thank you for such a terrific interview, Danae!!!!!

Feature #30: Kristen

Kristen B

Age: 21

Career: ECE/ Nanny

When did you cease using topical steroids: Feb 19th, 2017

What type did you use: Hydrocortisone, Ellidel, Protopic

What is your favorite product for comfort? Ice Packs, Aquaphor, burning my arms when itchy

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? Having to re-home some of my pets, the draining of my self-esteem, having to go to bed with multiple ice packs and a fan since I can’t fall asleep otherwise, and the financial hardship having to spend tons on remedies.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? I plan on working out, eating whatever I want and not having to worry about a flare, go out with my friends, play with all my animals again that are making me flare up, and just enjoy life in general again.

Feature #29: Michelle & Laura

Michelle Li

Age: 25

Career: Data Scientist

When did you cease using topical steroids: July 2015

What type did you use: Elocon in childhood, other hydrocortisone creams of various strengths for eczema around eyelids and lips, and immunosuppressants (elidel, protopic) in my teens.

What is your favorite product for comfort? A balm I make using shea butter, jojoba oil, cocoa butter, peppermint essential oil and eucalyptus essential oil. The essential oils are very cooling and help relieve the itch…sometimes.

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? The hardest part about TSW is the roller coaster of flare-ups. Sometimes you think you’ve beat it, but another flare-up will come, in a different part of your body. It’s really hard to keep a positive attitude when that happens.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? I’m doing everything I want to be doing! I’ve made a big effort to keep chugging along, advancing in my career, traveling, and doing as much as I can without causing my body stress despite my flare-ups… But maybe, going camping and not having to worry about infections or having a good nights rest would be the first thing I do once I’m healed.

Laura Mathieson $Laura Math.png$

Age: 29

Career: Unemployed due to TSW and anxiety

When did you cease using topical steroids: 28th May 2014

What type did you use: I only ever used steroids topically, these include Hydrocortisone, Betnovate, Fucidin H, Fucibet and Elocon. There are many more but I can’t remember them all. Other treatments I have tried include Traditional Chinese Medicine, hypnotherapy, UVB light treatment, homeopathy. I was still using steroids when trying these other therapies in the past.

What is your favorite product for comfort? At the start of withdrawal i used tubs and tubs of 50/50 ointment. Later I found Dead Sea Salt baths very soothing. I’d use zinc infused bandages when oozing. Later into TWS (about the 2 year mark) I started using Elaj, and I still use it to this day.

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? The hardest part for me is the anxiety and depression; not wanting to be seen by anyone and shutting myself away from the world.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? The first thing I want to do when I’m healed from TSW is hold down a full time job long enough to save enough money to go travelling for a few months.

Interview #13: Nina Nelson

Nina Nelson
Darien, CT

1. When did you start using topical steroids and why?

I first had eczema as a child but really didn’t use anything for it other than Keri lotion since my parents believed it was just something I had and there was no “cure.” Around 8^th grade it disappeared. It reappeared when I was 30 and pregnant with my first child. The top of my hands became very itchy. The doctor didn’t want to use topical steroids, so he prescribed Protopic. At first Protopic worked beautifully but after a week, it started to burn and make my skin even redder, so I stopped using it. My hands got better on their own.

2. What was the name of the topical steroids?

Protopic.

3. Were you ever prescribed more potent steroids?

After the birth of my daughter, my eyes became very itchy and red. I saw ophthalmologist after ophthalmologist. They diagnosed me with dry eyes and ocular rosacea. The eye drops (Restasis and over the counter wetting drops) they put me on didn’t work. So I saw a specialist from Yale. He tried the same things the other did…in addition to antibiotics ointments in case it was conjunctivitis. Still my eyes didn’t get better. In fact, they got worse. Finally, the doctor put me on a compounded steroid ointment. Didn’t help. We moved on to steroid drops. This whole eye thing went on for about 2 years. After awhile, he said he didn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want me on the steroid drops any more. I didn’t either, so I stopped.

That’s when the skin rashes started. And I saw dermatologist after dermatologist. And allergists. And gastroenterologists. And naturopaths. And acupuncturists. And neurologists (lupus).

Through it all, I was prescribes topical steroids, oral steroids, and steroid shots. From low potency to high potency, for my face, my scalp, my arms, my hands, my legs, I’d walk in and doctors would say, “Whoa, first we need to get rid of this flare with a steroid shot/round of prednisone, then once we get you back to normal, we’ll get you on some creams.” Of course it would work, until the steroid shots/pills wore off and then it would start all over again. And I kept trying different doctors thinking maybe THIS one will have the answer. Nope.

4. How did you find out about RSS?

One day I was googling online and I don’t even remember what I was googling…itchy rash on face/hand/shoulder maybe, and I saw an image of a girl with red circles around her eyes and a “muzzle mouth” just like mine and I thought, “That looks just like me.” When I went to the page, it was the ITSAN site and the more I read, the more I realized that this is exactly what I had…what NO doctor had been able to diagnose me with—even the best-of-the-best-who-other-doctors-referred-me-to-who-didn’t-take-insurance-experts in New York.

5. What made you feel you had RSS?

When I read the symptoms and the history and saw the pictures of all the other people who were going through this, the similarities were too many to ignore. With every new bit of information or every video, and every study that was linked to that site, I kept saying, “This is me. This is me. This is exactly what happened with me. Oh, my God. I know what I have. I’m addicted to steroids.”

I was actually excited. Excited that I finally figured out what it was after all these years of knowing something wasn’t right but not knowing what it was. Excited that there was a cure. And I was ready to stop steroids that minute.

6. Were you diagnosed by a doctor? Did you have a supportive doctor?

I was never diagnosed by a doctor. I had compiled a book of the past 12 years of medical visits, prescriptions, and pictures of me in various stages of flares and when I took them to my GP she looked at them and listened patiently to what I had to say. She said she didn’t think I was over prescribed or that the doctors did anything wrong, but she believed me and was very supportive in my decision to quit steroids and said that she would support me in any way to help me get through this. This included prescribing a low dose hydroxine for the itch and the insomnia and an anti-depressant if I got too low. The hydroxine didn’t really work for me and I never filled the anti-depressant prescription, but I was so grateful for her time, patience, and response. For the first time I felt like I was being heard and taken seriously.

7. What were your first symptoms?
Itchy eyes and then an itchy rash on my face, my scalp, and all over my body.

8. Is your family supportive? Friends?

Yes, although there were some definite rough patches in my marriage

I think the hardest part is that without an “official” doctor’s diagnosis, the withdrawal is not taken as seriously as it would be otherwise.

Obviously, we are sick…we look sick, but I don’t think people realize just how sick we are—on the inside as well as the outside. They don’t realize how exhausted we are from the damage done to our adrenal system and the lack of sleep; how our confidence is gone because we look and feel horrible; how we are in a physical and mental state of torture because of the itch, and the nerve zings, and the sweats, and the cold chills, and the above things I already mentioned. There is no WebMD site to go to that explains that this is absolutely debilitating and patients need time off work and from family responsibilities to heal.

There’s no rehab center for steroid withdrawal like there is for other drug addictions, or pamphlet to hand to family and friends that explains what to expect.

And I felt guilty that I couldn’t be the wife my husband married, or the mother I used to be. But I also put my foot down and stood up for my health and myself. I demanded the time and the rest and the passes from a lot of things and this created friction. I spent huge amounts of money on dead sea salt and water for daily (sometimes twice daily) baths. But I believed so strongly in this diagnosis and my body’s ability to heal and I knew all I needed was time.

And that’s the second hardest thing about this fight…it takes a long time and that’s hard on spouses who are also losing out on time and life for an illness that is not even recognized by doctors.

But yes, my family was supportive. I hid out mostly from society at the beginning. I was so embarrassed that only my closest friends knew what I was going through. Even after I went public on FB and shared my pictures, my story, and all the links with people so they could share with others, I tended to be less outgoing than I used to be.

But that’s gotten better as my skin has gotten better and more time has passed. Now, I go out all the time even with a flare. Who cares anymore? Judge me, don’t judge me. I’ve been to hell and back; your opinion doesn’t matter to me.

9. Have you ever been to a hospital for this? Why?

No, I was lucky. I never had to be hospitalized. I kept infection at bay by taking Dead Sea salt, apple cider vinegar baths. And I’ve gotten cold sores since I was a kid, so I have a backup stash of Valtrex to turn to so I never got eczema herpeticum.

10. What was the hardest part of this condition?

Phew. I have to pick one thing? I’d say not having the energy that I used to before I got sick. The brain fog was tough too…I wondered why I didn’t have the mental clarity. I guess the hardest part was not being my best person and feeling like I was missing out on life because of it.

11. How long have you been in withdrawal?

I will start my 28^th month on Jan 18^th, 2017, so I have 2 years and 3 months behind me. I began November 19, 2014. Every morning I put a big X through the day before as I marked the days off. It gave me strength to see all those crossed off days.

When I discovered RSS, I was on the first day of a 3-day shoot for a popular sleep aid commercial—I was playing the role of the wife of the man who couldn’t sleep. I tried to stop the topical steroids that day, but my skin immediately rashed up and my husband said, “Nina, you can’t do this to these people. They’re paying you to look good. You have to take it for the next three days.” He was right; I had a professional obligation not to show up looking like I fell into a patch of poison ivy, so I sparingly used the topical steroid until the last day of the shoot and then I stopped cold turkey.

12. What do you use as comfort measures through this?

Dead sea salt baths have been my oasis. I’ve done 20 min DSS baths since day one and am still doing them. I also did moisture withdrawal up until about 3 months ago. Now I feel my skin is healed enough that I use an essential oil mixture on it: jojoba, geranium, lavender, frankincense, myrrh, carrot seed, pomegranate, Vit E.

I also competed in 2 triathlons during this and I know the swims in the ocean and the pool helped to dry out the ooze. I think yoga helped with the detox and the running helped with the lymphatic system…not to mention all these things helped with my mental state. It gave me some power and control over my limited lifestyle. I itched like crazy during the workouts but I felt stronger afterward.

Rest. When I felt exhausted, I knew my body was going through a big healing push, so I slept. I felt so guilty sleeping during the day, but I knew it’s what my body needed, so I dealt with the guilt. I still got up every day with the kids for school, but sometimes I’d fall right back into bed after they left.

13. Are you employed? Has this affected your job status?

I was a commercial print model and actress so yes, I had to book out with my very-understanding agent this entire time. She’s been a big champion of mine and I’ll return to it when I’m sure I’m better. The good thing about commercial modeling/acting vs. fashion is that you never get too old—you can always do denture, arthritis, and grandmother commercials. ;D

I’m also a writer, so I was able to do that from home—although the brain fog was a real butt-kicker.

Because of having to give up the modeling, I ended up picking back up with a past job of mine, which is teaching hydrofit classes. I’m teaching twice a week at my local Y and loving it. It gets me out of the house, pays me, and gets those endorphins going…all things that are vital for my happiness.

14. Have you gone to therapy/wish to go to therapy because of this condition?

No, but only because several times daily, I turned to the ITSAN and Topical Steroid Withdrawal Facebook pages for comfort. Just hearing about other people going through the same thing I was made me feel less alone during this. Posting on my own FB page helped as well. Social media was my therapy.

15. If there is one thing you could say to another sufferer, what would it be?

Stay strong. Head down and do what you need to do to make yourself comfortable. Eat healthy; sleep as much and as often as you can. Listen to your body, it will tell you what you need. Keep living, but above all, be patient and know that even if you can’t see it, your body is healing every single day—on the inside and then on the outside.

Sorry, I know that’s more than one thing.

Thank you so much, Nina! What a wonderful interview!

Feature #27: Donna & Whitnee

Donna Marinkovich

Age: 42

Career: Mum and recently back to my old life (especially since skin is so much better) but part time, art dept for film/tv in NZ

When did you cease using topical steroids: December 15th 2015, as soon as I had read the ITSAN site.

What type did you use: I wish I’d paid more attention but mixed in there was hydrocortisone, elidel, elocon sporadically on and more so off for over 30 odd years.

What is your favorite product for comfort? Ice packs particularly at night for the itch. I didn’t use any products during the early months (1-6) as did moisturizer withdrawal, but since my skin took a turn for the better I have been using Avene products, namely the spring water spray and Xera calm moisturizer.

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? Physically – the insane itch can drive you pretty crazy, the trance of the itch-scratch cycle is all consuming. The skin flaking. Just the general pain, discomfort and constant awareness of how your skin feels so foreign and sore and alien. Mentally – not knowing what’s really going on, the doubt about whether you’ll ever get better (you do though!) As the healing is not linear, eventually one day you may have calm skin, but the next it feels like you have regressed again with no rhyme or reason, so you have to dig deep to accept and just surrender to all this on some level. I am still trying to practice this 15 months in. Trust is a big one, that your body knows what it needs to do to heal. I am humbled by those whose journeys with this are really tough.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? I couldn’t wait to hold my baby against my bare skin and not have it make me uncomfortable or anxious or itchy. The healing was so slow to unfold, but I felt elated when I saw glimmers of my ‘old skin’ again, and so grateful for my body and what its been through. It was awesome to not feel super self conscious of going out in public and showing my face. To feel the anxiety ease off a bit. And every time I settle from a flare, even though it’s only for a day or so, I am still grateful my body can get there and hopefully will one day stay there.

Whitnee Springfield

Age: 25

Career: Creative Designer – had to leave work due to TSW

When did you cease using topical steroids: 01.20.2017

What type did you use: Hydrocortisone, escalating to daily use of Betamethasone and Elecon. Also had 3 month course of oral steroids and Tacrolimus

What is your favorite product for comfort? Avene Cicalfate Restorative Skin Cream has significantly improved my face and neck which were super tight, dry and flakey with slight oozing

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? Due to debilitation I have had to move across the country to live with my mum to care for me. This means I don’t see my fiancé often and we have had to postpone our wedding. I miss him terribly.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? Marry the love of my life and return to my passion as a live performer (singer songwriter).

Feature #26: Casey & Tammy

Casey Pratt

Age: 39

Career: Associate Professor of English

When did you cease using topical steroids: I stopped using all steroids on May 10, 2016

What type did you use: I used Desoximetasone .25% ointment, Triamcinolone .1% cream, and Clobetasol .05% solution

What is your favorite product for comfort? Dead Sea Salts and a basic zinc-oxide cream. And Instagram #tsw

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how hard the “not-knowing” is, and how hard it is on families (thanks for helping Mom & Dad) —that’s all true. But for me, the hardest part was the horrendous itching and sleeplessness. It was like being possessed by a demon.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? The first thing I’ll do when I’m healed (this question makes me cry) is play in the ocean with my wife and young daughters. I missed them so much while I was laid-out. Then I’m going to have a word with my dermatologist.

Tammy

Age: 42

Career: Administrative Assistant (but had to take 5 months sick leave from work due to TSW)

When did you cease using topical steroids: September 3, 2016

What type did you use: Clobetasol

What is your favorite product for comfort? Epsom salt baths, glaxal base cream, zinc cream, tea tree spray with peppermint

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? When I was at my worst, I would have to say the pain of my skin was unbearable everyday. The open cuts, swelling and the constant itch was so hard to deal with. Missing out on so many events and limited time with family and friends.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? Spend the day at the beach, and swim in the ocean

Interview #12: Torrin Bennett

Torrin Bennett

Denver, CO

1. When did you start using topical steroids and why?

Torrin started at about 4 months for eczema. Small patches first seen on his upper lip and back.

2. What was the name of the topical steroids?

He was first prescribed hydrocortisone.

3. Were you ever prescribed more potent steroids?

Yes, over the next 8 years of his little life he was on and off of these steroids. Also, under occlusive wrappings (Wet Wrap Therapy for his last two years)

Hydrocortisone, Betamethasone Diapropionate .05%, Desonide .05%,Fluticasone Propionate .05% (external cream),Fluticasone Propionate 50mcg (nasal), Qvar 80mcg,Triamcinolone Acteonide .1%,Qvar 40mcg,Elidel 1%, Fluocinonide .05%, Fluticason Propionate .0005%, Mometasone Furoate .1% (cream), Mometasone Furorate .1% (ex ointment), Mometasone Furoate .1% (ex oint), Protopic .03%,Pulmicort 1mg (inhale), Qvar 40mcg.

4. How did you find out about RSS?

On September 11, 2014 I was researching hemp oil (anything to “cure” him) on Amazon. I was told to check out a few sites in that review and ITSAN.ORG was one of them. As soon as I read the signs and symptoms, I knew without a doubt Torrin had RSS.

5. What made you feel you had RSS?

He was full body red, extreme itchy, dry/flaky skin, water burned and stung him.

6. Were you diagnosed by a doctor? Did you have a supportive doctor?

Yes, his pediatrician listened and read the ITSAN material. Then to just educate her on RSS and/or if we needed any medicines, we confirmed the RSS diagnosis with Dr. Rapaport via telemedicine.

7. What were your first symptoms?

Before we knew it was RSS, Torrin already showed signs of TSW ( “bad dandruff”, dry/flaky eyes and skin, redness, sensitivity to heat and water. When we stopped all steroids on 9/12/14 within a few days he became really red, itchy all over. His legs were swollen and could barely walk. The horrible “pins and needles”.

8. Is your family supportive? Friends?

Yes, our family was supportive. Friends were supportive but many just dwindled away and stopped asking to do things (because we couldn’t). We had no life for 2.5 years, basically.

9. Have you ever been to a hospital for this? Why?

Yes,about 28 months in I took him into Urgent Care because his arm looked like eczema herpeticum. Thankfully it was not.

10. What was the hardest part of this condition?

Everything! Watching your child itch himself till he was bleeding, the pain that followed, “pins and needles”, water like acid on his skin, watching his friends go to school, play sports, vacations, swim etc. We went from a very outgoing, athletic family to holed up inside their prison home for months and years.

11. How long have you been in withdrawal?

Since September 12, 2014, 29 months. Torrin is still in withdrawal and has flares on his wrists, knees and feet but nothing like on or after steroids. He was able to bathe and swim after 1.5 years into withdrawal.

12. What do you use as comfort measures through this?

At first baths and Aquaphor for 6 months into TSW. After that he chose moisturizer withdrawal so no bathes and very little Lemongrass Balm from Stephanie Home Apothecary and Honeypacificaco.com. Also, ice packs and fans.

13. Are you employed? Has this affected your job status?

I have always stayed home with my boys. I only worked part time but had to give that up to take care of him 24/7. Our family, unlike many others, were financially stable.

14. Has this affected Torrin’s education?

Yes! He missed all of 4th grade because he was bed ridden. I homeschooled him online last year and some of this year. He went back to school on 2/1/17. He was also held back a grade.

15. Have you gone to therapy/wish to go to therapy because of this condition?

No, we have not gone. Torrin seems to be doing fine and adjusting at the moment. Me, I’d like to go since I have been experiencing depression, anxiety and PTSD.

16. If there is one thing you could say to another sufferer, what would it be?

Sometimes just allow yourself to just lay there and breathe if that’s all you can do at the moment. Sometimes that’s all I could do as I laid on my bathroom floor at 2am crying because I watched him go through so much pain.

FAITH in God, HOPE that he will heal and the LOVE for my child is what got me through each day.

Thank you so very much for sharing your story, Torrin!

More From Sufferers

Hey Preventables,

I wanted to make another blog just showcasing some of the things that are being posted in the groups. This PREVENTABLE condition is causing so much pain and suffering. All I wish to do is play a role in ending the overprescription of topical steroids so this pain can end. Please consider donating to this cause either through the project PayPal (preventable.doc@gmail.com), or through the donation link on the front page.

Way too many of us get laughed at in a doctor’s office. How inconsiderate, especially if we are bringing FACTUAL resources with us written by other doctors.

This is so much more than a skin problem. Our mental health comes into play and we need all the support we can get.

Doctors are prescribing these drugs to be used on places the very drug itself says NOT to be used on. There needs to come a point where the “DO NOT USE PAST 2 WEEKS…. unless prescribed by your doctor” needs to be abolished. Just because the doctor says to do it, doesn’t mean the warning on the label goes away.

I, personally, did two sets of tapering oral steroids. My skin gradual got better on the pills, but as soon as it tapered off, I went right back into this mess.

How unfair this that? Even when there is proof, a doctor is going to deny it? It makes absolutely no sense.

So many people who don’t believe in this say they think its outrageous that people are doing this and should go back to the drugs if they are suicidal. When will the thinking start turning towards saving people from this by actually prescribing these drugs correctly/actually finding out the cause of the patient’s problem instead of continuing to endanger patients and call them crazy for ceasing to use a drug that is literally destroying them from the inside out?

I saved the best for last. This hits home for so many sufferers.

This is not about bashing steroids. This is about showcasing how overprescribing these drugs are ruining people’s lives in every way imaginable.

Feature #23: Katie & Ashley

Katie

Age: 21

Career: Unemployed, had to medically withdraw from school

When did you cease using topical steroids: July 2015

What type did you use: I used Triamcinolone 0.1% for 8 years, had a few rounds of oral steroids/shots of Kenalog

What is your favorite product for comfort? Lemongrass Balm and Frankincense

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? The hardest part of TSW is the physical pain. There are days where I’m in so much pain that I can’t even think straight. The ooze is a close second though.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? First thing I’m doing is taking a trip somewhere fun and exciting. I’m not sure where yet, but I’m going to make sure to live it up and not to take life for granted. Oh, and I’m also gonna drink a margarita.

Ashley

Age: 29

Career: Attorney and Dance Teacher

When did you cease using topical steroids: November 24, 2015

What type did you use: I used many different types, but the last two I was on were triamcinolone and clobetasol

What is your favorite product for comfort? 3 things: 1. White t-shirts- they’re great to wear around the house because they are loose and breathable and I also use them to wrap my arms or neck during flare-ups; 2. Benadryl to help me sleep during the unbearable itchy nights; 3. Aquaphor

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? Sleepless nights dealing with the bone deep itch & trying to maintain as much of a normal life as possible

What is the first thing you will do when healed? Workout and take a pain free shower

ITSAN — Doctor Pages

As many may know, ITSAN.org is the non-profit organization that advocates to help fight against Red Skin Syndrome and stands as a refuge for those who are suffering and have no support. ITSAN stands for International Topical Steroid Addiction Network.

The team leaders, Joey VanDyke (President) and Kathy Tullos (Executive Director), have poured their heart and souls into this organization to help out everyone who is lost and weary while enduring this heartbreaking condition.

One way they give back is by making it as easy as possible for sufferers to advocate for themselves. These woman get paid hardly any money to do full time jobs in order to make this possible.

Kathy went above and beyond and created this detailed, incredibly informative page that we all can show to doctors in order to help them see that this condition is not only real, but should be taken very seriously.

DOCTORS PAGE

Please, use this page whenever you are trying to inform doctors of Red Skin Syndrome. Here is just some of the wisdom found on this page:

This page should be utilized in every way to spread awareness.

Interview #11: Jen Hall

Jennifer Hall

Jacksonville, FL

“Nothing is wasted” I heard this from a T.D. Jakes sermon. It basically means that no matter what suffering you’re going through it won’t be wasted…it will be used in some way for your best benefit. It will make you a stronger, wiser, more resilient person who will be more appreciative for the little things in life. You can even use your pain and experience to help others. This saying held true & gave me faith through my healing process (and still does till this day), it kept me going and looking towards the future and how I can use my experience in some way.

1.When did you start using topical steroids? And why?

10 months old. At around 7 months old my parents noticed that I had spots of a skin rash, I was really itchy and the doctors told them to use over the counter creams to keep the symptoms at bay. When they noticed it was getting worse, to the point of wrapping my arms in gauze to prevent me from scratching my skin to bleeding, they took me to a dermatologist and they prescribed me topical steroids.

2. What was the name of the topical steroid?

.025% kenalog (triamcinolone ) cream

3. Were you ever prescribed more potent steroids?

Yes, higher potencies of triamcinolone (the main steroid I used for 26 years of TS use) as well as Desonide for my face, a mixture of steroids and lubriderm, and steroid shots of (I believe) triamcinolone in my hands and feet.

4. How did you find out about RSS?

I didn’t know there was a name for it until I found itsan.org. I had been withdrawing from the topical steroids for a little while already just because I was fed up of being sick and looking into natural remedies to heal my skin. I had found eczema-natural-healing.com and followed the woman, Donia’s story and how she stopped using the creams (and worked on cleansing and diet) and healed her skin. I took the same approach she did and I believe it was months later I found out about itsan.org and that there were doctors who had a name for it: RSS and TSA (topical steroid addiction) and were promoting cessation of steroids to heal the skin.

Following Donia’s approach inspired me to share my own story on my blog eczemaholistichealing.wordpress.com and help others just as she has! I receive many emails from all over the world from eczema warriors and I assist them with advice with diet, supplements and essential oils. I also truly believe that my overuse of topical steroids for 26 years led me to have cancer: stage 3 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 2008. This overuse of topical steroids has also lead me to have Keratoconus in both of my eyes (but worse in my right) which I will have to have treatment for soon to correct the misshaping of my cornea and poor vision.

5. What made you feel you had RSS?

All of the symptoms matched up to mine. I’m darker skinned but you can still see redness in my tone. I could never go a day without using some form of topical steroid on my skin, I was constantly itchy, if I would stop using the medication at any point in time my skin would revolt and flare up.

6. Were you diagnosed by a doctor? Did you have a supportive doctor?

When I found out about taking the steps to naturally heal my eczema I knew that no doctor would understand so I just grinned and bared it by myself. I did have a dermatologist at Duke University Hospital that I had before I started TSW (and whom I’d get prescriptions from). When I scheduled an appointment to see her and tell her about what I was going to do as far as cessation of the medications and taking a holistic approach, she flat out told me “well there is nothing we can do for you here, I prescribe medication, so… sorry.” She had no alternative treatments for me, no information about diet or any info on how it truly is possible to be addicted to topical steroids. I even believe that she had said “there’s no cure for eczema“. I still plan on one day showing up and showing her how I got through this and how I’m much better off than I ever was on any cream she wanted to prescribe me! The only doctor who supported me was my oncologist at Duke University. I even showed him horrific photos of the beginning stages of my TSW and he was so impressed by how far I had come (6 months in) and he praised me for taking such control of my health and choosing this route of healing. He even offered info for a holistic doctors that he knew, but I couldn’t afford it.

7. What were your first symptoms?

Hot red skin, raised bumps, intense itch, hot and cold feverish symptoms then came the ooze… the dreaded ooze with huge cracks in my skin. My legs and especially my feet looked like I had a flesh eating disease because the skin was so raw, open, bloody and oozy. The pain and leg spasms were insane, like ants crawling UNDER the skin, and tingles like pins and needles. Showering gave me anxiety as the water stung and burned like crazy, I ended up going months without showering and just washing up not only because of the pain but also because getting my raw legs and feet wet just made it worse.

8. Is your family supportive? Friends?

Yes, very much so. I’m so thankful for my mother for physically taking care of me for so long and for both of my parents for helping me out financially. My parents both felt so terrible and guilty that because of taking me to the dermatologists to use these meds all of this time had got me in this situation.

Just like thousands of parents just wanting to see their child better, they did the best that they knew how and what they thought was right, to take me to the doctor. My mother and grandma would always pray with me and encourage me to keep my faith, let me know that God is always in control and this suffering won’t be in vain. My friends were super supportive and so kind throughout all of my health issues. They never made me feel like an outcast, always encouraged me and spoke healing into me. Still to this day they tell me how much they admire my strength of all that I’ve been through. Hearing those words from them always keep me going.

9. Have you ever been to a hospital for this? Why?

I have never gone to a hospital for TSW as I already knew doctors wouldn’t understand and just want to give me steroids, antibiotics and pain meds. I also couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket for a holistic doctor or naturopath. The one time I went to a clinic for a signed doctors note to excuse me from work, the doctor looked at me as if I was a fool and flat out said that what I was doing “clearly wasn’t working” and I needed to immediately get back on the steroids.

10. What has been the hardest part of this condition?

Symptomatically the ooze for sure… the smell of it is so awful, the icky sticky feeling it leaves on your skin and when it sticks to your clothes is aggravating, the way it crusts and hardens and itches is maddening. With all of that I know that the symptoms are good things, they show that the body is cleansing properly and getting all of that gross toxic metabolic waste out, by any means necessary. Emotionally and mentally would be holding on to the faith and hope that this will end someday, and digging deep to continue fighting. Just not giving up and giving in to suicidal thoughts that would plague my mind from time to time.

11. How long have you been in withdrawal?

Since March 2012. I still cannot believe that I will be 5 years topical steroid free in March 2017! I can honestly say that I’m about 90%-95% healed, with just some irritation still from my knees down. My legs are just flaky and itchy at times and my feet are the same but with small areas that can get ever so slightly oozy. I’ve been able to comfortably wear socks and sneakers more recently, which is a huge milestone! Some days I have to just wear sandals (thank goodness I’m in Florida lol). I just have discolouration and wrinkling that is really left to repair, but no intense symptoms like the years before thank God!

12. What do you use as comfort measures during this?

Always reminding myself that “this is temporary” also that, “this pain and struggle will take a fraction of your life to endure and heal”. Lots of prayer and listening to uplifting sermons and gospel music. Reading positive, inspirational books. Crying instead of holding it all in. Crying on the phone to my mom and hearing her encouraging words. Listening to dance music, watching lots of movies and getting crafty. Constantly staying educated about detoxification & healing with food and natural remedies. Seeing my friends and laughing my booty off. And always, always having gratitude, even when I was in the deepest darkest hole I gave thanks to God because I knew the the only way out was to battle through it and that each passing day was one day more without topical steroids… one step closer to full healing. I always tell my readers to give thanks for the good and bad, the breakthroughs and setbacks, because the body doesn’t take overnight to heal because it didn’t take overnight to accumulate toxicity… it will take time and to always trust its natural ability to heal. Have gratitude for the pain because it shows that your body is properly cleansing and that you are becoming the healthiest version of yourself, free from the dependency of topical steroids!

13. Are you employed? Has this affected your job status?

I’m currently looking for work, but with my eczemaholistichealing.wordpress.com site I make a small income from the supplements and essential oils that I use and recommend (feel free to reach out for more info: eczema.holistic.healing@gmail.com). I was able to work retail for 1/2 a year, but a TSW flare brought me to quit my job as it affected my legs and feet, making it impossible to put on shoes and stand for any long length of time.

14. Have you gone to therapy/wish to go to therapy because of this condition?

I have not, and I would’ve benefited from it for sure in the darkest of times. I found my therapy to be connecting with others through support groups as they knew the struggle first hand and we could all encourage one another, even if it was via the web. I found it amazing at how many people all over the world were suffering and feeling the exact same horrific symptoms as I was, especially when in the very early stages I felt like I was completely alone. It’s also wonderful to see so many doing much better and enjoying life to the fullest!

15. If there is one thing you could say to another sufferer, what would it be?

Don’t ever give up, you are a warrior and this pain and suffering you are feeling is temporary… it is literally a fraction of your life dedicated to repairing. It may seem like it’s dragging on forever but it WILL end, the body is so amazing at self healing! Always keep the faith and always have gratitude. Treat your body like the temple that it is with healing foods, lots of rest, exercise and loving thoughts. Focus on the future and the amazing things that you will do when you’re body is healthier, how you will live life fully, be more compassionate to others, share your story to encourage others and be of service in any way you can. Remember that this isn’t “happening to you” but it’s “happening FOR you” to be the healthiest version of you! Continuing the steroids for years and years would’ve only increased the toxicity in the body, and would’ve led to other health issues like myself with cancer and now Kerataconus. TSW is a huge battle to endure and embarking on it is the bravest thing you can do, commend yourself and keep on fighting!

Thank you so much, Jen, for this phenomenal interview!

Feature #21: Danny & Fleur

Danny Brooks

Age: 24

Career: Was a sports staff member for RCCL

When did you cease using topical steroids: Oct 20th 2016

What type did you use: A large variety of tablets and creams over several years

What is your favorite product for comfort? Cetroben (heavy moisturizer)

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? Around the 2 month mark I developed loads of tiny blisters all over my feet which burst when I walked making it incredibly painful to stand and walk until they eventually healed after about a week. (also happened on my hands)

What is the first thing you will do when healed? Reapply for my job as I loved my short time working on cruise ships!

Fleur Rose Blanche

Age: 10

Career: n/a

When did you cease using topical steroids: Nov. 13, 2016

What type did you use: Used Betnovate on and off since October 2015 for patches of eczema behind the knees and inside of elbows.

What is your favorite product for comfort? Calendula talc when skin won’t tolerate ointments. When it can, I like Egyptian Magic cream

What is the hardest thing to deal with during this condition? The flares with oozing, (they scare me), the itch is worst part now , also having to give up dancing and pulling out of a show in February. I miss my friends, school and gymnastics.

What is the first thing you will do when healed? Playing my instruments and dance lessons.

Danae Kirtley

Nina Nelson Darien, CT

Torrin Bennett

Jennifer Hall

Nina Nelson
Darien, CT